FNN Interviews Princess Moxie

Faux News Network and Strange Worlds Publishing present an exclusive interview with the main characters from Hank Quense’s novel, Moxie’s Problem. 

The interview will be conducted by Mia Diversion, FNN’s entertainment reporter.

Mia: I’m talking with Moxie and three apprentice Knights of the Round table, Percivale, Bors and Gareth. Let’s got to the questions!  Moxie, did you ever in your wildest dreams think you’d have such an adventure?  

Moxie: Never!  The Knights made me sleep on the ground, get up before dawn, ride or walk all day.  The sun dried out my skin, I was covered with bug bites, I didn’t have a decent bath for weeks and there were snakes!

Mia: In hindsight, what’s the FIRST thing you would have done differently if given the chance to start at the beginning again with the Knights?  

Moxie: If I had known how disrespectful they were going to be, I would have had my daddy, the King, tell them that were to obey my commands and follow my orders.

Mia: If Percivale, Bors, and Gareth were sinking in a sand pit, who would you rescue first and why?  

Moxie: Well, Perc is kind of sweet and he’s the least disrespectful.  On the other hand, he can’t cook.  Gareth can cook and he’s handsome in a way.  Bors, forget about it.  He’s always lecturing me like I’m a child.  Bors is definitely the last one I’d rescue.  Provided I didn’t have to get my boots wet to do it. 

Mia: Now for the boys. (Sorry about the sandpit thing, I was just curious). I know you were kind of shocked by Moxie when you first met her. But if you had to pick one quality you admire in her, which would it be?

Percivale: I wouldn’t call it admiration, but I was surprised at how she never stopped whining.  I didn’t know people could do that all day long for weeks on end.  I thought that was pretty amazing.  In a bad way.

Gareth: Moxie had nothing to admire so I just ignored her and let Percivale and Bors deal with her.

Bors: I never meet met a more stubborn woman in my life.  I went out of my way to teach her some basic finance that could help her out in later life and all I got for my trouble was scorn and ridicule.  I guess I have to admire how pigheaded she is.

Mia: So, this Hero training stuff, do you think it actually prepared you for surviving adventures?  Or do you kind of have to ride by the seat of your pants?

Perc: The Hero Guild taught us how to fight and how to survive a battle.  But it never mentioned stuff about dealing with people like Moxie.  We don’t have enough experience to tell if Moxie is a one-of-kind adventure or if everything in life is like dealing with her.

Bors: Moxie better be a one-off experience.

Gareth: If we have to deal with her again, I’m going back to the Orkney Islands and stay with my Da.

Mia: Moxie – Your one absolute biggest fear. 

Moxie: Living my entire life trapped in a castle with nothing to do or to live for.  It’d be like a bird in a cage or a tiger trapped in a pen.  Bleah!

Mia:  Are you guys planning any more soccer games? 

Gareth: We are.  The Knights of the Round Table have a full schedule of games against other British kingdoms and towns.  Only we call it football, not soccer.

Bors: The apprentice knights’s team also has games scheduled and all three of us play on that team.

Perc: And don’t forget the Saxons.  We never know when the Saxons will try to invade Camelot and defeat the Knights team.

Mia: Guys – What are you favorite ways to relax after a long day of Hero-ing? 

Percivale: drinking a mug of ale — drinking the water is too dangerous, you know — and making a sketch or two of our most recent adventure.

Bors: I love to audit a nobleman’s financial scrolls to see if he’s cheating on the taxes he owes.

Gareth: My favorite way to relax is to cook up a new recipe or try out a new spice.

Mia: What’s next for our three Knights in not-so-shining armor? 

Perc: I got this spooky feeling that we’re not done with Moxie.  I think we’re going to have to deal with her again.

Gareth: (gags)

Bors: (shudders)

Moxie: Hey!  We’re friends, aren’t we?  Well, friends don’t talk about other friends like that.

Mia: Can you give me some hints about what happens in the next novel?

Perc: I don’t think we should do that.

Moxie: You’ll just have to read the book when it becomes available.

Mia: There you have folks, my exclusive interview with the main characters in Moxie’s Problem. You can learn more about Moxie’s adventures by visiting Moxie’s Journey: A Princess in Camelot

With that, this is Mia Diversion saying good-bye for Faux News Network