FNN Report: Pentagon Will Circumvent Sequester

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FNN’s Pentagon reporter Sam Fung-Ku filed an exclusive report on his interview with an Army colonel who requested anonymity.  The colonel said the Pentagon will circumvent sequester with a new plan that will prevent budget cuts from affecting the defense budget.

The colonel told Kung-Fu the budget cuts would be devastating to the military contractors and thus to the retirement portfolios of most of the high-ranking officers in the Pentagon because much of the portfolios are invested in those companies.  A hefty drop in share price would affect the officers’ standard of living.  Thus the plan to evade the cuts is simple expediency.

With Iraq and Afghanistan wars winding down, the current Pentagon thinking is that the country needs another war. But the Pentagon’s top planners have learned the lessons of the the Middle-East wars.  The military now wants a small, clean war that will make everybody feel good and allow Congress to pass increased military budgets instead of spending cuts.

The planners envision attacking a small, unimportant country like Malta.  That country has an excellent harbor in the capital of Valetta.  The Marines would have no problem taking the city in an amphibious landing. Then the Army could land a few divisions and finish the job.  The crucial task for the soldiers is to drag the war out so it looks like the Maltese army is tougher that it really is.

The problem the Pentagon planners are wrestling with is how to justify the invasion and how to keep NATO forces on the sideline. Already, the CIA has leaked reports that Maltese government has terrorist leanings. Other reports will say that the government is amassing weapons of mass destruction, has started a nuclear program and plans to invade Sicily in the near future

The Pentagon’s pre-invasion ad campaign will stress that an invasion is necessary to prevent a hostile, possibly terrorist, government from controlling the central Mediterranean Sea.

Kung-fu will continue to monitor this developing situation.